Learn How to Increase Your Emotional
Intelligence with Five Simple Tools
It is no secret that Emotional Intelligence plays a crucial role in your relationships. But how do you apply these specialized skills to everyday life? It’s easy with this practical, ready-to-use guide. Using the latest research and true–to-life examples, this step-by-step program shows you how, by incorporating the five basic tools of Emotional Intelligence, you can enhance your relationships in the workplace, at home and in all areas of your life.
1.The Elastic helps you reduce stress and avoid
emotional overload
Out of control stress triggers knee-jerk fight or flight responses that make us feel like running or fighting –but not much of anything else. When this happens, and it commonly does, our emotions and the emotions of others can seem threatening and overwhelming.
2.The Glue helps you stay emotionally connected to
yourself and others
Emotionally intelligent communication is fundamentally nonverbal, emotionally-driven communication. Emotion points us in the direction of what we really need, and is our primary source of motivation. Remove the emotional parts of the brain, and people lose their desire to do much of anything.
3.The Pulley helps you attract and hold the attention of others
Nonverbal communication is the lifelong pulley that consciously or unconsciously sends either positive or negative signals to others. Nothing reveals more to others about us, or attracts others to us, than wordless communication.
4.The Ladder helps you rise above life’s difficulties
All emotional exchange strengthens relationships, but sharing humor and the delight of play adds a unique restorative healing element, Mutual playfulness reduces stress, defuses anger, mends fences, and lifts spirits.
5.The Velvet Hammer helps you handle conflict in a
positive way
Painful upset is an unavoidable part of life. But conflict resolved is a velvet hammer that can be a cornerstone for trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, trust and safety in relationships.
You’ll Learn How To:
- “Read” other people
- Make powerful connections
- Defuse arguments and conflicts
- Repair wounded feelings
- Understand nonverbal cues
- Build stronger, more satisfying relationships
Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide for Harnessing the Power of Your Instincts and Emotions
Using a program of simple techniques developed through years of research, Dr. Segal lays out the paths to true emotional intelligence.
This book, originally published in 1997 by Henry Holt, is still available as a “prime” book from Amazon.com.

