Emotional Trauma

Trauma's Many Faces - Healing Trauma

Once we're stuck, how do we become unstuck?

A trauma occurs. If we block the emotional response, the immobility response is triggered. We feel frozen, overwhelmed, out of control. Of course, these core instinctual feelings feel like death; they're terrifying. Understandably, we do our best to distance ourselves from them. But this disconnection from our survival instincts is exactly what blocks our capacity to return to equilibrium after a terrible experience.

Blocking unacceptable feelings interferes with the natural cycle.

After Michael's divorce, he spent almost six months isolated. Because he had few friends, his withdrawal went largely unnoticed. When he stopped answering the phone, his brother Joe became alarmed. Joe made the overnight drive to Michael's house and banged on the door until Michael opened it, then refused to leave until Michael agreed to go home with him. In the car, Michael suddenly seemed moved by his brother's concern and cried on and off for hours, sometimes pounding his fists on the dashboard or upholstery. He felt embarrassed by this uncharacteristic display of emotion, but Joe did not seem to mind. At the end of their journey, Michael wiped his eyes and said to Joe, "I don't understand it, but I feel better."

Later that week, back at home, Michael began seeing friends but still had trouble sleeping. At his brother's suggestion, Michael went to a trauma specialist. The therapy enabled Michael to experience the beliefs and feelings triggered by his wife's departure in a way that didn't overwhelm him. Michael was surprised that this gentle type of exploration actually resulted in increased confidence and feelings of self-worth.

He also uncovered childhood memories that had elicited similar beliefs and feelings: Thoughts such as "I'm not important" or "Why doesn't anyone care for me?" evoked the same deep sadness, heaviness in his chest, and stomach cramping that occurred when his wife left.

Within weeks, Michael was sleeping well again. He joined a local service club and made lunch dates with people at work. One friendship eventually became Michael's first mutually fulfilling romance.

How traumatic responses repeat … and repeat …

We have seen how Michael's unfulfilling connection with his mother created a pattern of social awkwardness and isolation that repeated throughout his life. Human memory is notoriously inaccurate except when we feel threatened. At such times, we remember terrifying incidents in all their sensory detail, if not with visual or literal accuracy.

When a memory is too much to bear, it gets walled off, physically separated from the part of the brain that houses conscious awareness. Computerized images of brain function before and after traumatizing events demonstrate this literal separation of feeling from thinking. Furthermore, brain scans show that communication between the parts of the brain is restored-the "wall" comes down-after trauma resolution.

When we lose touch with traumatic memories, they are not gone. In fact, they can be recalled by a new traumatic experience. When this happens, the memory and its associated feelings are triggered so rapidly (thousands of times faster than we can think) that we mistake the old feelings for those occurring right now. Emotions and sensations stored in that inaccessible part of our brain are re-stimulated, unwittingly causing thoughts, feelings and actions that relate more to what happened in the past than what is going on now. Many viewers watching the events of Sept. 11, 2001, whose lives were not directly affected by the tragedy nevertheless experienced symptoms as severe as did people on the scene. For some, this reaction may be explained as a reactivation of long-forgotten earlier life events.

Retrieving the past to heal the present

Once traumatic aftermath has been healed, we are reconnected to our core feelings. Our original instincts are back in action, just as they were when we were born. We are restored to our moment-by-moment relationship with the world, even when unconscious feelings related to the past are triggered. Once a strong connection with core feelings is established, you can heal the past by putting it into perspective.

Jeremy grew up "dirt poor," as he puts it, and was ashamed of the handouts his family accepted to survive. When he succeeded as a professional athlete, old feelings of inferiority kept him from enjoying his popularity. Once Jeremy squarely faced the painfully uncomfortable emotions that were prominent in his childhood, he was able to live in the moment and enjoy the spotlight.

Healing from trauma is a sensory
reconnection with a past event.

Retrieving unacceptable feelings is easier said than done, partly because we want to avoid pain and partly because doing so takes time and energy. Who's got the time and energy to make life changes to resolve lurking symptoms of traumatic aftermath?

Reconnecting with physical and emotional sensations is scary because emotions deliver messages you might not want to hear-messages that say you must take action now. Moreover, our culture doesn't offer adequate comfort or tolerance for emotional pain. The messages are clear: "Forget it," "Be strong," "Take a pill," "Don't make trouble," "Get over it" especially when it comes to losses, such as the loss of a pregnancy, a job, or trust in someone or something.

Not surprisingly, many of us lose the ability to stay attuned to the emotional nuances that connect us to our instincts. To heal from emotional trauma, we must learn to accept and experience all of our feelings, including the core feelings triggered in times of crisis. In so doing, you free yourself from the traumatic influences of your past and reinvigorate your present life.

Traumas Many Faces: Recognizing and Healing Emotional Trauma:

Recognizing Trauma is the first part of Traumas Many Faces and describes the symptoms and causes of emotional trauma.

Healing Trauma is the final part of Traumas Many Faces and is a description of how trauma is healed.

Quiz & Overview of Trauma Symptomotology:

Is Emotional Trauma a Factor in Your Life? Quizzes you on symptoms that may suggest you are living with unresolved trauma.

Types of Emotional Trauma is a breakdown of trauma symptomology.

Return to home page for Emotional Trauma.